Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Truth about Holidays

I hope you all will enjoy some Thanksgiving time and food with your family. A week ago today I was sitting in my dorm room thinking about actually eating my dad's stuffing. He made it so healthy but still hadn't eaten it since I was 13 because of my obsession with weight loss and eating healthy. I did binge on it after day of starving between then and now (I am now 21) but it was in secret and out of shame. 

That same night, a few hours after I was picturing the smile on his face as I kicked anorexia's ass and ate his stuffing, he suddenly died. He was perfectly healthy 60 year old man and had just finished tennis. We were and still are all shocked. So gues what...I can't eat his stuffing this year. Can't eat it ever again. I would give anything, risk gaining any amount of weight, throw weight loss in the trash forever just to have one more Thanksgiving with him. Just to have the chance to eat his stuffing, see his smile, feel his warmth. SO how should you "tackle" thanksgiving? By experiencing it. 

Just eat what you want to eat. Just do it. It's one day. One meal. Will it make you gain a ton? I don't know. But what I do it doesn't matter. IF this is your last thanksgiving or one of your loved ones last won't matter how much you gained. It will be about the memories you either let yourself create or kept yourself from because numbers swirled in your head. So this Thanksgiving, Christmas, or whatever holiday you celebrate, cherish it. Let yourself enjoy the time, the family, and yes..even the food. Just do it...I wish I would have. Wish I would have taken this advice all the times I heard it, but it's too late. 

It's one day, one holiday. The weight, the calories, the numbers..they just don't matter. What matters is cherishing this holiday...because there is no guarantee it will come again. No guarantee everyone at the table will make it back next year. So fuck the food, just enjoy the experience. Just live, breathe, and have a happy holiday. 

1 comment:

  1. I'm so sorry to hear this. I really, really hope you will be able to celebrate in his memory one day. it's hard for a few years but it does get easier. You're right. It is just one day. ONE. You could make his special dish in his honor next year. Or even tomorrow. Hang in there xoxo