tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3786739774187498846.post2332907485397036559..comments2023-08-26T11:46:16.508-04:00Comments on Freedom Hunger : Start of Someone NewAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12406087598273815706noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3786739774187498846.post-53417508273442656362013-01-26T11:22:38.086-05:002013-01-26T11:22:38.086-05:00i really have no words...what you described is me ...i really have no words...what you described is me in a nutshell. i dont know what to do. treatment is not an option right now bc i dont have insurance or $ honestly i would go back to treamtent in a heart beat. im so incredibly lonely and scared and sad. but im sooo gald you worte this. maybe im not alone..im not a freak! i love you so muchkatie annehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06835074918913776953noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3786739774187498846.post-60196811296843040862013-01-26T08:46:38.160-05:002013-01-26T08:46:38.160-05:00I can tell you right now that she won't lower ...I can tell you right now that she won't lower your meal plan. She won't until you are a medically stable weight. Why? Because in all reality, you probably will gain more than two lbs because that's what re-feeding does. The weight gained is all food mass and water retention, though and not "true weight", which is why she will not lower it. Because you need to maintain this weight gain not just past those two pounds, but until you are at a true healthy weight.<br />Medically speaking, she shouldn't be reducing the number of exchanges until you are at least at BMI 18.5. <br />Also, with the thoughts that you have, you are not going to recover unless you start countering them HARDCORE. You have relapsed and it is because you are partaking in ED behaviours. Your intense fear of weight gain and too much food are just as indicative of anorexia as physical weight. I think that your ED might be fooling you in many ways that (even though you have made progress) you still do not realize.<br />Right now, you're doing the absolute bare minimum. Why would you contain yourself to doing the bare minimum? Your fear of relinquishing control is holding you back.<br />True recovery and true freedom require letting go. What's the worst that could happen? If you hate life when you're at a healthy weight, you can relapse again. But you know what? Your body has fallen back to this place because you are medically compromised and each time you get sick, it gets less resilient, and your fear of not waking up in the morning becomes more of a reality.<br />Keep pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. Keep letting go of control. You're not going to fall, if you're doing your best, there's no way you can fail. But the bare minimum is not your best. Holiding yourself in a pigeon hole and making all your choices based on ED fears is not your best.<br />I'd love to be able to helpful and be there for you and with you, but you have to commit to helping yourself first. <3Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08145900698384816817noreply@blogger.com