Once again written on Tues and good thing because today isn't such a good day. Had to go see a leukemia specialist and got more and more bad news. Please...if you have an ED get help and get it early...otherwise the impact will last for years. Looking at needing a bone marrow transplant because of damage of ED combined with damage of lupus.
Got bad news today that my hopes of getting a new N and all
the hopes of progress in recovery that brought…..weren’t going to happen. The N
deemed me too tough of a case and now refuses to see me. So I am back to square
one. I will post more on this later….but it led to a crazy reaction. At first I
was just going to throw in towel, give up on recovery, and fast for days. Then
I realized that did nothing other than prove her right. Especially since I
haven’t fasted in almost a year. So then
I thought about how I can find a way to recover without a N for now. And one of
those things is my new commitment to a weekly Challenge Day. Right now it looks
like Tues, but basically I will do scariest option/a fear food at every meal/
snack (or a scary recovery behavior) and also be very aware to not
over-exerice. I will share those days on here, probably through WIAW, as I am
doing today. So here goes! Thanks Jenn for hosting!
B-fast and lunch were put together because of poor timing
and choices earlier in the day. Good news about recovery, it’s forgiving. Any
moment you can turn the boat around. I only pictured some of it because the
rest I had already eaten, but picture is the scary parts anyway. A Flatout wrap
and Apple Cinnamon Oatmeal. I also chose a tangerine over a safer option. I
wish I could tell you how it taste, but reality is…I was so scared I didn’t
taste anything.
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I was very hungry and ate my oatmeal snack earlier. I let my hunger, not the clock guide me….but my hunger also outran my camera…so no pic :P Enjoy this pic instead. Trust me its more attractive than mine.
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