Today

Today my weight was up…a whole lb. It was up despite workout yesterday. That means today should have been a day I was prisoner to ED. I should have only eaten safe things, restricted intake, pushed off meals. But that is not what happened. Because today…I chose to trust the part of me saying it was sore muscles. 

So instead of what I (according to ED) should have done:

• I ate my cereal without spilling any out.
• I ate lunch and dinner at appropriate times (something haven’t done in days). I ate early when I was hungry.
• I ate my freedom food of a yeasty roll for the day and two unplanned freedom foods of broccoli and a fiber tortilla.
• I ate my snack before my shower even though I was full because I knew I needed to.
• I did not do my abs or upper body like have been doing every night.
• I got the right serving of prunes.
• I added cayenne pepper to my meal
• I allow myself a drink from Starbucks. Unsweetened green tea.

So no..today I didn’t do what ED says I should have done…and you know what…I’m okay with that. Still scared. Still fearing tomorrow. …but okay.