Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Hey ED....get in the corner

Hey everyone. So it was back on track this week and back to appointments galore. I can't even begin to express how excited I was to get back to therapy and nutrition. Is it weird that I find a sense of control and sanity from these sessions? I used to dread both therapy and nutrition appointments, but then again that was back before I was actually pushing myself to recover. Now they kind of rev me up with motivation to get through the next week. The week of Thanksgiving without them well....we all see how that ended up. But, back on track, and despite gain at doc on Monday that had me flipped out because I did slip this past week with restricting and overexercising, at N appt today I maintained my weight from before Thanksgiving. I know this means I lost since Monday (oh glorious water weight), and I shouldn't be happy about that, but it also means I can officially put last week behind me. It's just like it never happened.
So onwards we go with recovery. My brilliant therapist made an ingenious discovery yesterday and concocted a plan that honestly is so simple that it works. Basically figured out my ED is a 6-year old. Why? Because that's when I developed it. Plus it speaks in quite simple, uneducated phrases like a 6-year old throwing a tantrum. If I am eating it says "Too much. Stop. No." I mean could we get some complex sentences....even a fragment I will take...geeze just use a freaking noun ED. If I am gaining weight at a rate it deems too fast ED goes "Too fast. Gotta stop. No food. No, no, no. Stop." See the 6-year old now.
Now ED isn't a nice, well-behaved 6-year old. He doesn't play nicely with others and he certainly doesn't listen to authority. Ever seen Supernanny? Picture the worst acting kid you have seen on that show. The ones that curse, spit, kick, and/or hiss at their parents. That's ED on a GOOD DAY.
So what do you did with a 6-year old throwing a tantrum. Do you give them what they want? Do you let them keep screaming? Heck no. You either call supernanny or you put them in time-out. This is the basics of nannying, parenting, babysitting...whatever. Don't give in, put them in timeout till they give up and sit there...1 minute per year of age.
So my therapist new method for me when ED speaks at all (remember, he's not supposed to be in my head right now). Time out for 6 minutes. When he said this...first I laughed...then I realized ED isn't gonna be a kid who sits in time-out for 6 minutes. He is gonna be the one where 6 minutes takes 6 hours. I don't have time for that. So new, new therapist puts ED in timeout for 6 minutes. So he gets to deal with the annoying child ED is and I get peace to get through the day.
It sounds simple, in fact to some it might sound stupid, but it works. Last night I got through a lemon poppyseed muffin and hot cocoa....items I haven't had in years...all because I sent ED to my therapist for timeout. I got through my hardest snack...the dang 5 oz NY style dining hall bagels because once again ED went to time-out.
The good news...eventually the kids settle down and you don't have to use time-out as much. They don't throw tantrums and when they do their 6 minutes takes only 6 minutes. I have hope one day my ED will be like that. Urges will come less frequently and when they do I can quickly dismiss them. But for now ED is sent to timeout kicking and screaming, and I am sent down the path to recovery...smiling and free. This is how life should be.
So how old is your ED? Are you ready to take control of your mind and discipline ED? Starting today are you ready to send ED to the corner?

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