Wednesday, March 27, 2013

WIAW#2: A little different

So sorry I haven't been around, but as this pic shows...kind of been going through a lot. HR monitor, cardiologist, school exams, trying to cope with being back from school break, trying to listen to and acknowledge bodies hunger signals not number on scale...there's just been a lot going on. But I am back and my eco came back clear so that's good. Will find out about rest of cardiologist stuff next week.

But I am back in time for WIAW....of course today body decided to be crazy forgot to snap pics of all my food. But since I missed Freedom Friday...well here are some freedom foods I faced this week :) It's a What I Ate this Week post haha. Also, I am proud of myself because I added a snack that my body was hungry for, but scale didn't show I needed. Well, let me just say the scale (and ED) lies. I listened to hunger, gave body what it needed, and well...the scale started to drop. Looks like I need even more and another increase coming my way :). Alright..onto the eats.

Peas and Crayons

 First off is an old favorite I have been completely avoiding. Good ole' black beans. ED was screaming about the sodium that I was "not allowed" to have. But I tried instead to see what this would provide me...protein to rebuild muscle, fiber to help tummy get some motion going, and the joy and satisfaction of choosing recovery.
 This random dinner incorporated so much fear, it almost seemed undoable. I had salad with dressing...which is fine, but throw in two starch servings worth of white pretzels, a T of guacamole, and vegan meatballs full of again that dang sodium...and well...there was freedom to be had and feared. But I got through and actually enjoyed the meal. I realized in this meal that exchanges can be filled with any doesn't make it a better or worse's just a meal. And eating WHAT I WANT is what actually makes it a "better" choice, because its me taking back control of my life.
This snack was actually my first one when chose to do increase....and I was craving it out the wazoo. BLUEBERRY FROSTED MINI WHEATS! Honestly I was so hungry and so excited I couldn't hear ED screaming though he was. I just thought of the whole grain, tasty goodness I got with each was a non-stop smile across my face.
 Another scary craving brought on by this week. You see, before I would plan my challenges for the week with my N, but not having a N and being home for a week without pre-planning...showed me I enjoy (and am challenged more) by not having a plan and having to let body tell me what to do. Granted..I do have an emergency plan in case all goes haywire, but it's been nice. And it brought me to do this scary meal. Tuna in salad with dressing (not low-sodium tuna so scary) and on the side a Lender Bagel with PB2 and banana. It's always been told to me that ladies can have either salad or sandwich..not both at a meal (and better if its the salad). So doing a salad and a BAGEL sandwich involving nuts and a higher calorie blew my mind away. Then realizing I survived and nothing bad happened...wt didn't shoot up, world didn't end, and I actually felt made it all worth it.
And lastly....the one pic I remembered to snap today because fear was delaying me...a HUGE (well in my eyes) everything bagel with fat free cream cheese (scary because of sodium). Now, now...I know fat-free cream cheese really...well...yes. Because thanks to ED and a surgery complication it brought...I can never again eat real cream cheese...I don't even have the option. But ED won't hold me back from the cream cheese I can have! No sir....this girl is on the road to recovery :)

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