Thursday, December 11, 2014

WIAW: Challenge Day

Once again written on Tues and good thing because today isn't such a good day. Had to go see a leukemia specialist and got more and more bad news. Please...if you have an ED get help and get it early...otherwise the impact will last for years. Looking at needing a bone marrow transplant because of damage of ED combined with damage of lupus. 

Got bad news today that my hopes of getting a new N and all the hopes of progress in recovery that brought…..weren’t going to happen. The N deemed me too tough of a case and now refuses to see me. So I am back to square one. I will post more on this later….but it led to a crazy reaction. At first I was just going to throw in towel, give up on recovery, and fast for days. Then I realized that did nothing other than prove her right. Especially since I haven’t fasted in almost a year.  So then I thought about how I can find a way to recover without a N for now. And one of those things is my new commitment to a weekly Challenge Day. Right now it looks like Tues, but basically I will do scariest option/a fear food at every meal/ snack (or a scary recovery behavior) and also be very aware to not over-exerice. I will share those days on here, probably through WIAW, as I am doing today. So here goes! Thanks Jenn for hosting! 

B-fast and lunch were put together because of poor timing and choices earlier in the day. Good news about recovery, it’s forgiving. Any moment you can turn the boat around. I only pictured some of it because the rest I had already eaten, but picture is the scary parts anyway. A Flatout wrap and Apple Cinnamon Oatmeal. I also chose a tangerine over a safer option. I wish I could tell you how it taste, but reality is…I was so scared I didn’t taste anything.

Next up dinner and a terrifying combo. Did Quorn Chik’n cutlets which is huge fear and also honored my craving by doing pears in juice. It’s what I wanted…and it was safer but doing what I wanted is more important I think. This was really good. I did kind of overcook the chicken, but it wsa quite good. Also, I did the proper size cutlet even though there was a smaller one. That was hard decision, but one I knew I needed to make.  

I was very hungry and ate my oatmeal snack earlier. I let my hunger, not the clock guide me….but my hunger also outran my camera…so no pic :P Enjoy this pic instead. Trust me its more attractive than mine.

And then it was back to that onion bagel….I had one yesterday and was really craving it today. Again let my hunger guide me and finished eating for the day early! Side of mushrooms because I LOVE mushrooms. And that is real, non-whip, full fat Jif on top! And a scary soda on the side with more apples than usually eat. And with that…challenge day done!

Oh and I didn’t overexercise the whole day. Did only the 45 mins committed to.

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