Happy (re)Birthday to Me!

 Well today was my b-day and what seemed like a complete disaster of a b-day turned into one of the best birthdays I’ve had.

To start off, it was first day of classes so I had to get up way earlier than normal and stomach didn’t feel good. Even after bad weigh-in I told myself I would do as I had committed…I would eat a damn cupcake for my b-day. And not some cheap Publix cupcake, but a cupcake from a shop with no calories, no fat, no numbers of any kind known. Just the sweet taste of freedom.

I drove to school, got to class early and was enjoying all my classes (even the one I was dreading) until the text came. The bakery I had chosen was out of the one flavor I wanted: Key Lime. And the person who went to get the cupcake for me (because I was in class till 7 pm and the shop would be closed) had left without getting me anything because they didn’t know what flavor to get.

And I got desperate and angry and all the sudden just wanted to restrict and not eat all day. Couldn’t find anyone else to go out and felt alone and worthless. Just about this time, I was also overcome with headache, nausea, and sore throat had felt since that morning. Come to find out, my boss and clients from yesterday had fever and same symptoms that seemed to be bronchitis. As the minutes and hours passed I got more depressed and more sick. The only part at all I was happy about was all the lovely texts and warm wishes I had gotten and the calls had exchanged with mom.

Then God taught me as He always does to trust Him. Trust His plan. Well, I got to my last class to find out we would be getting out early aka in time for me to get my cupcake. Which was honestly how I wanted to do it. I wanted to walk in and get the cupcake myself. And, because I was sick and at this point clearly feverish and with horrid sore throat, teacher let me go even earlier.

So I got to go to the bakery myself. I wrote the owner’s a note about my story and gave it to them

and, since the lady there saw it was my b-day and took pity on me I guess, she let me have the cupcake for free. So I chose the best option for someone on their b-day…..Birthday Cake flavored (Vanilla cake with Vanilla buttercream and sprinkles). Was so excited and scared. But mostly excited.

Then I went to my recovery group which was amazing as always and they even got me little mini cupcakes. And one of them played me piano which she hasn’t played since before she went into her addiction, but she said she wanted to use God’s gift for His glory again and couldn’t think of a better person to gift it to. It was most moving thing ever. And I felt so loved and so supported.

I then got HUGE craving for fro-yo and cocoa which I would never allow myself on a dessert day, but mom offered to buy since the cupcake was free and so I got it J

Not only that, but got text from my new match on eHarmony and we decided to do a phone call because he wanted to tell me happy b-day in voice not just text. It was most amazing phone call had in a while and we really hit it off.

I got home and was cooking only to realize I had no candles or lighter. So off to store I ran. But by now it was 11 pm and I was scared wouldn’t make it by midnight. Went to gas station to get lighter and even splurged on scratch offs (only won a free ticket but it was fun).  Then went to Walgreens and the lady in line saw it was my b-day and refused to let me buy my own candles so she bought them for me. IT was almost midnight, so I blew out my first candle in the car and raced home. I HAD to get the first bite of cupcake in by midnight.

As I drove each red light turned green and I stared the clock down. 11:55 it read, 11:56. And then as I got home, lit the candle, and sang myself happy b-day it was 11:59 and I blew out my candle and took the first bite of my cupcake. The first sweet, amazing bite of my victory as a 23 year old.

So yes, it seemed like everything was going wrong. But as God always shows me, when everything seems to be going wrong, He is working it out to be just right. Had cupcake shop not been out of flavor, I wouldn’t have been able to go out there. Had I not been sick, may not have gotten out of class soon enough to get to shop. Had cupcake not been free, wouldn’t have splurged. Had I not been out of lighter and candles, wouldn’t have experienced love of a stranger. All in all, was an amazing birthday. Got great gift from aunt, call from brother, love from family and friends, and countless blessing from God.  I ate HUGE APPLE, HUGE BANANA, and all my cravings. What more could a girl ask for. Now off to finish my cupcake and have my first sweet dreams as a 23 year old me J Thank you God for these past 23 years and help me to bless you with the years I have ahead.

Love,

Jess