Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Food Hoarding vs Saving: What's normal?

Well…it happened..I got the move-out request offered and will be changing roommates and suddenly I got scared…or maybe it was ED got scared about moving. My lifegroup is coming to help me move and I started to worry if they would judge me. Not on behaviors, not on my clothes…nope…but on my food.

I get scared over being able to afford groceries and freuquently buy things I think I may one day face and I buy it. But I kind of have a stockpile of some things, like oatmeal and unsalted pretzels, etc. Some of it is because people got it for me or it was on sale…but then I got scared if my stock started getting low because was scared wouldn’t be able to afford something that week. That would run out of everything at once. So I keep buying it even though have 4/5 boxes. And now I’m flipping out.

I am moving in December and when people see this stockpile what will they think? Is it normal? I mean some of the things its just like I bought a 12-pack of Snackwells when had the craving, but haven’t had the craving since. Do people keep these? Or do they toss them? I mean I feel that is normal.

But then there is the other food. Like the oatmeals. I get scared I can’t afford it or will run out of it or something. So I keep a large supply built up. Like it literally spikes my anxiety if gets low. I start freaking out.

And then there is the candy. I have candy I got last Christmas, easter, Halloween and I just never ate it, because can’t find place in meal plan and don’t get cravings for it. What do I do with that? Is it normal to keep it. I am just so confused. I’ve been so far from normal for so long.

So what do all my normies do? Do you stock up on things you know you eat? Or should I just keep one back-up not 3 (guess that makes sense). Or do you wait till it runs out? But then what if you run out before can get to store?
And what about things you buy out of craving, but then don’t crave anymore. Do you just keep it…I mean that seems normal.

I am so black and white…and this seems so grey. And then I guess I also want to judge self. To know if I am being ED or not. But it seems like maybe part of my stockpile ED (ie large amounts of oatmeal etc and fact I buy them again when still have two boxes in stockpile) and other is normal (bought it when craving and stuff leftover). Why do I do this? Any insights?

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