So tonight I had a really long counter shift. Longer than I had planned. Which meant eating late. And that’s all my mind swirled to as the minutes ticked by. I started thinking how late I would be eating and what that would mean for the scale tomorrow. That was my only focus. The number I would face in the morning.
My mind didn’t think about the extra money I was getting. Or how much fun me and my co-workers could have. Or even the delicious food I had waiting at home. Or the fact I get to sleep in, so it was perfect night to work late. Nope. My focus was purely on the scale.
That was until I got home. As I rushed through making dinner, with fears swarming in my mind…I stopped. I realized I was focusing solely on the scale. I was freaking out about the day I had and the food challenges I did today and how now none of them seemed to matter because scale would be thrown off by eating late. In that moment…I realized the misery my misguided focus brings me…and I decided to shift my focus. By choosing not to worry about the scale…and instead to look at the positives of today…I got a renewed sense of hope. Heck..I even started to think maybe the scale won’t be impacted tomorrow.
So today I am shifting focus. Perhaps tomorrow I will freak out and focus my whole day on a rudimentary number that only measures how much gravity pulls on me….but not tonight. Tonight I am focusing on the laughs I shared. The money I made. The hope God has given me. And the major steps in recovery (some of them more leaps than steps) I made.
I will focus on the delicious food I still have to finish before I go to sleep so I can finish my meal plan. I will focus on the blessing of a job God has given me. I will focus on the strength I gained from my papa bear, and my Heavenly Papa. I will focus on love, on laughs, on life. And I will leave the scale to the fishes.
I have wasted enough time being miserable and missing out on life because I am freaking out about a scale. It caused me to not be in the moment with my dad. Caused me to stress today when I didn’t have to. Heck….it caused me to freak out about all the great shifts I have this coming week instead of being grateful for them because I worried what eating late would mean on the scale. Well…it doesn’t matter. Not tonight. Not right now.
I will choose my focus and it will be one of joy and hope. I will focus on the now. The only moment I have…and I will praise God for it. I will find the little miracles in my backyard just like my papa bear taught me. Thank you Lord for my shift in focus. Help me to focus on what matters in life….and leave everything else up to trusting in You.
Are these at all helpful to anyone? Please let me know. Feel like I am not making the difference in others or even in myself that I so need.