- I have been eating dining hall bagels
- I have been getting full portions of fats
- I have been doing the chocolate milk that is mandated in my meal plan
So onward to the pics :)
First off I faced my fear of Almond Butter on the first day of my 4 fat exchange per meal adventure. I figured in the morning I needed a spread for the english muffin half and I was still too scared of peanut butter. I knew that I didn't really like almond butter, but I tried to convince myself otherwise. Plus, one of my residents gave this to me so I figured I needed to try it and force myself to like it. That is NOT gonna happen. I just don't like Almond Butter....it's just weird tasting.....but hey I faced it.
The next morning I realized I had nothing other than peanut butter to use as a fat to spread on my english muffin....so as fate would have it I faced my fear.....Skippy Peanut Butter! It's my favorite brand and for right now I am using Reduced Fat, but we shall see how adventerous I get :) I freaking love this brand and it's a good thing because I now have to have peanut butter daily.
peanut butter and a banana (albeit quite a small one and I didn't eat the whole thing....need to face this again) at my Sunday dinner. I also had pretzels which is big for me because I always restrict the numbers.....but I did the correct portion here. Also, I was behind on my snacks, so I decided to face full fat Fig Newton. DO NOT face a fear food in a tense staff meeting....as I learned you might cope by restricting. But still I did manage to at least attempt this freedom. Oh and this isn't at all my full dinner...unpictured is yogurt, split pea soup, and okra :)
Lender's bagels left I decided to break my OCD idea that bagels are only at snacks (even I don't do them at b-fast) and made them a part of my meal. I put my full portion of guacamole on it with tuna...and it was nice and portable part of my lunch a few days ago. Unpictures is my chocolate milk, melons, steamed cauliflower, olive slices, and almonds.
Then yesterday I went to check my mailbox and got suprised with this lovely package :) An amazing company whose products I have always wanted to try but have been to scared off helped remove the excuse that I didn't want to spend the money on it and sent me three jars of All-Natural peanut butter. Thank you Peanut Butter & Co. . And this just isn't peanut butter....this company makes crazy awesome flavors, but it's all natural. The three they sent me? Cinnamon Raisin Swirl, Spice it Up (this has spicy peppers in it), and Dark Chocolate dreams. I even got a sweet note from their PR head.....I feel so blessed.
Cinnamon Raisin Swirl. Got the full tablespoon as you see :) Let me just say...if anyone is scared of peanut butter...GET THIS PRODUCT! It was so freaking amazing I forgot I was "supposed" to be afraid. The cinnamon is present, but not overwhelming and you even get the ocassional surprise visit of a raisin. It is FREAKING AMAZING! Thanks again Peanut Butter & Co. You can buy them at your supermarket either on PB aisle or in natural section :) Or order online....it's so worth it :)
And now it's onto (drumroll please) the turkey burger I let you all know about earlier today. I wanted to wait and do this post till after I accomplished this goal. So here it is! I even did the "scary" fruit I now have to do twice daily (once is in getting right portion of prune/fig in morning) and so I chose to do apple. I put 2 T guac and generous amount lettuce on the turkey burger, which I put on a corn tortilla. This was a big deal too, because I am scared of even the slightest fat like the amount in corn tortillas, but it is what I wanted. To make sure that the turkey burger was counted only as a protein and not as any of my fats I had 2 T sliced olives and 1 T sliced almonds.....so all my fats were accounted for. I met the rest of exchanges too (had peas and yogurt as well) I will admit it was a struggle....several texts were sent to my friends in recovery....and it took me over an hour to complete....but I did it. I prayed through it, reached out for support, and read a devotional. I just kept reminding myself I want to be an example of recovery, that I have done scarier in treatment, and that my nutritionist wanted me to do it. And I got through. And honestly at first I felt a lot of guilt after finishing, but now....just 30 minutes later I feel proud to be able to share that yes....I did do it and no I didn't restrict any of my dinner.
So thank you all for giving me a reason to fight on and for allowing me the space to be proud of myself for my Freedom Foods. I was thinking of you all down to the last bite (see below).