Freedom Hunger : WIAW#5: Hopes for future

So I do have a lot of freedom foods to share because I kept on forgetting to, but at this point...all of them are still scary so I figure I will share them next time I get around to facing them. Instead...I want to do something a little different for this WIAW. Instead of What I Ate Wednesday....I want it to be about what I look forward to eating in so many Wednesdays to come. Thanks again to Jenn for hosting.

You see I got my new meal plan yesterday after meeting with my dietitian. I have so much hope after that session...she is exactly the kind of nutritionist I need. I am in a lot of prayer and dropping my pride to ask for donations so I can afford 11 more sessions so I can meet with her twice a week for the summer...that's $1,100. So if anyone has any ideas let me know haha.

Anyway, with my new meal plan in hand and a new freedom food list..I am looking forward to the Wednesdays to come. For that matter I am looking forward to the Monday, Tuesdays, Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays as well. I am just looking forward to a future of freedom in eating what I want instead of what my brain says I can have. Because honestly...unless my body starts craving arsenic or poison...what I want and what I can have should be the same thing. So..here are some things I hope I will once again be having in my Wednesdays to come.

B-fast

I have much hope for my b-fast seeing as I have been eating the same three just rotating through them for the past two years of my life....here are some (trust me there are more) things I hope to try.

French Toast Sticks: I actually don't even know if I like these because I was never allowed them as a child and I have never allowed myself to have them as an adult. I remember going to my friends houses and seeing them eating them while I sat by and ate my bowl of oatmeal thanks to the lovely diet I was on at the time. Yes...I was put on diets as young as 8 years old...and no...they didn't allow French Toast sticks.

Muffins: Every Sunday morning my mom bakes muffins. It's one of the few things she bakes very well (love you anyway mom). I have NEVER let myself have them even though I desperately want to. I am hoping sometime soon I will let myself.

Pancakes: My dad makes the best pancakes ever. He invents new flavors and they have fresh fruit from his garden and spices and everything...and I think I have eaten them like..once a while ago. I just sit over my bowl of bland grits....watching the rest of my family enviously while ED yells at me. But I have hope...hope for a new future.

Lunch

I miss the simple lunch sandwich. Thanks to fear of deli meat though...sandwiches have gone out the window. They used to be my favorite lunch. With some healthy sides. I always LOVED sandwich day in treatment. And when I was running XC PB and Banana sandwiches were my jam. Granted it was fake pb with really low fat..but still...even that I am too afraid of now. I hope one day to conquer a real PB and banana sandwich....or just a sandwich in general. Especially with how busy my life is about to get...being able to just pack a sandwich would be nice.

I don't honestly know anything else I miss for lunch...think its just the good ole' sandwich. Maybe a wrap one day would be nice. Oh and these..I miss these....BAKED LAY's. In treatment I would shove my way to the front of the line to get these once I got extra starch added to my lunch. It was my go-to side....that or...oh..chickpeas...I miss my chickpeas too. Stupid sodium fears.

Dinner

I have always hated dinner. I just...I don't know..I don't like dinner food. Still..there are some bigger meal foods I guess I miss...or just want to allow myself to have again.

So here I got: fish sticks (never had them) , white rice (was favorite thing but used to binge on), corn bread (mom amazing at cooking this), baked rolls (don't remember last one), grilled shrimp (just another protein source be nice to accept), fajitas (again love these).

There is one dinner I do miss a ton...especially with grills coming out. A good cookout. I so miss turkey burgers or salmon burgers on a toasted bun. Either corn on the cob or sweet potato fries on the side. With a side salad and maybe some fruit. Oh...that would be pure perfection...yet I am sooo scared of it.

See the problem is my whole life and even now my mom gets in rut of cooking the same thing every week. So to me...dinner is always bland and I really don't know what else is out there. So please...give me ideas. Right now all we do is egg white omelettes (I am scared of and really don't like), refried bean on corn tortillas (faced this fear this week), grilled chicken salads or just fresh grilled chicken (faced this this week too), and then they go to Subway...which takes me to...

Restaraunt Eating

No pics necessary here...but will add anyway. The restaraunts I miss soooo much: Menchie's, Chick-fil-A, Jimmy John's, Subway, chinese food steamed, Starbuck's. Here are some entrees form those that I want to try...again I have all summer.

Snacks

So here are some old favorites from my brief time in "recovery" when running XC that I miss: PB and graham crackers and Nature Valley PB bars.

Of course there are also plenty of snacks I have never been allowed or it's been so long I don't even know if I like them.

Dessert

I just look forward to allowing myself any desserts...but the ones I really, really hope I can one day eat again I put here. I haven't had these (outside of treatment) since....middle school I think.