Today’s bible study was amazing again and centered around grief. How grief is allowed and needed and a normal part of life, but if we lose our hope of Christ can lead to hopelessness. I came to realize this doesn’t just have to do with hopelessness from grief, but hopelessness in general.
You see, grief happens because we love someone so much and long for them. But in one hand we hold grief, and in the other, as believers, hold onto hope because we know our loved ones are with Christ and we will see them again. We know, as Paul writes, they are not dead but have just “fallen asleep” and when they awoke were in Heaven. This is the hope that pulled me through the grief of my dad. I put my hope in Christ. I didn’t try and “solve” the situation myself, because I knew I couldn’t raise my dad from the dead. But I knew God could. He already had with His own son.
But sometimes, in recovery, I slip into hopelessness. That feeling that nothing will turn out, there is no reason to fight, and I should just give up. It’s the darkest of darks and a feeling I most fear because I lose all joy, all hope, all dreams, all aspirations. And Beth, today, hit me square in the face as to the source of my hopelessness. I begin to try and rely completely on myself, not on the Lord. I try and take recovery in my own hands, be independent, and take God out of it. Well…that is a hopeless point. Relying on myself. Depending on my own strength to recover, because my own strength got me right where I am. BUT, thank God for God, there is hope. We have never been called to rely on our own strength or do things on our own. No! We are called to put our hope, our faith, our strength in God..the most perfect strength, peace, hope, and joy. Now there. There there is hope.
And we need not be ashamed of our inability. We aren’t the first who aren’t strong enough for this fallen world. There are centuries of people who failed long before us. If humans were capable of being strong enough God would have never put His son and Himself through the horror of Christ beating and crucifixion. He would have never done that to His ONE AND ONLY SON who had been there in Heaven with Him since the beginning of time. But He did because He knew we couldn’t do this on our own and wanted to show just how much He loves us and wants us to rely on Him. To put our hope in Him.
And the enemy loves to make us feel we need to rely on ourselves because he knows we will realize we are inadequate or get overwhelmed and then we will give up. ED does it to me all the time. He did it to me today even, but I reached out to others and they reminded me to trust. And that reminded me I was trying to do it all my own. So I ended up pushing through and trusting God. And my family and I ended up choosing fear foods for week: black beans, rice, graham crackers, and broccoli. Am I scared yes. Does ED try and tell me these are too easy and I will never recover if I am scared of things like this? Yes. But you know what…I don’t have to worry about my fears because God will be my Peace and Strength. And I don’t have to make myself recover, because God will be my healer. I just need to be obedient and do my part and He will do the rest.
Praise God for God. Beth’s final words brought such healing to me and I want to share them with you too.
“Life can be painful here. Loss is inevitable. So let us grieve when we must, but God forbid that we grieve as the hopeless do. In His hands, we find solace. In His heart, we find rest. In His time, we find meaning. In His eyes, we are blessed. In His strength, we’re made mighty. In His light, morning breaks. In His Word, He has promised. In His coming, sleepers wake.”