Today’s bible study was amazing again and centered around
grief. How grief is allowed and needed and a normal part of life, but if we
lose our hope of Christ can lead to hopelessness. I came to realize this
doesn’t just have to do with hopelessness from grief, but hopelessness in
general.
You see, grief happens because we love someone so much and
long for them. But in one hand we hold grief, and in the other, as believers,
hold onto hope because we know our loved ones are with Christ and we will see
them again. We know, as Paul writes, they are not dead but have just “fallen
asleep” and when they awoke were in Heaven. This is the hope that pulled me
through the grief of my dad. I put my hope in Christ. I didn’t try and “solve”
the situation myself, because I knew I couldn’t raise my dad from the dead. But
I knew God could. He already had with His own son.
But sometimes, in recovery, I slip into hopelessness. That
feeling that nothing will turn out, there is no reason to fight, and I should
just give up. It’s the darkest of darks and a feeling I most fear because I
lose all joy, all hope, all dreams, all aspirations. And Beth, today, hit me
square in the face as to the source of my hopelessness. I begin to try and rely
completely on myself, not on the Lord. I try and take recovery in my own hands,
be independent, and take God out of it. Well…that is a hopeless point. Relying
on myself. Depending on my own strength to recover, because my own strength got
me right where I am. BUT, thank God for God, there is hope. We have never been
called to rely on our own strength or do things on our own. No! We are called
to put our hope, our faith, our strength in God..the most perfect strength,
peace, hope, and joy. Now there. There there is hope.
And we need not be ashamed of our inability. We aren’t the
first who aren’t strong enough for this fallen world. There are centuries of
people who failed long before us. If humans were capable of being strong enough
God would have never put His son and Himself through the horror of Christ
beating and crucifixion. He would have never done that to His ONE AND ONLY SON
who had been there in Heaven with Him since the beginning of time. But He did
because He knew we couldn’t do this on our own and wanted to show just how much
He loves us and wants us to rely on Him. To put our hope in Him.
And the enemy loves to make us feel we need to rely on
ourselves because he knows we will realize we are inadequate or get overwhelmed
and then we will give up. ED does it to me all the time. He did it to me today
even, but I reached out to others and they reminded me to trust. And that
reminded me I was trying to do it all my own. So I ended up pushing through and
trusting God. And my family and I ended up choosing fear foods for week: black
beans, rice, graham crackers, and broccoli. Am I scared yes. Does ED try and
tell me these are too easy and I will never recover if I am scared of things
like this? Yes. But you know what…I don’t have to worry about my fears because
God will be my Peace and Strength. And I don’t have to make myself recover, because
God will be my healer. I just need to be obedient and do my part and He will do
the rest.
Praise God for God. Beth’s final words brought such healing
to me and I want to share them with you too.
“Life can be painful
here. Loss is inevitable. So let us grieve when we must, but God forbid that we
grieve as the hopeless do. In His hands, we find solace. In His heart, we find
rest. In His time, we find meaning. In His eyes, we are blessed. In His
strength, we’re made mighty. In His light, morning breaks. In His Word, He has
promised. In His coming, sleepers wake.”
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