Wow! God woke me up again…quite literally. I realized I have gotten almost complacent with how I am in recovery. I have become a sleeping child when I am called to be a child of the day and of light. All because I lost my vision of the future. My motivation to recover. No…not just my dream career which is years away and still not completely in my control and thus not very motivating, but just the “normal” life I want…which is somewhat in my control. Life of going out with friends, dating, living…not thinking of food and exercise or having to limit myself because no “safe” foods. Will write more on this tomorrow, because it’s Wednesday and this is WIAW#1 of Summer Recovery Foods!!!!! So let the show begin!
This week my parents chose: granola, graham crackers, brown rice, and beans for me to face. So far I have done two of those, but have done TONS of freedom foods…so here are some eats from the past week...from Wed to Wed.
First off, I faced Breyer’s Fat Free Fro-Yo Vanilla Flavor. Used to eat this all the time, then somewhere along the way I got scared of it because had sugar or something. Well…the LOVE is back! In fact, in past week I have had it twice. Paired with Gerber Banana Puffs (these are delicious don’t judge), and sugar-free syrup!
I also corrected a behavior I was using. Something I did to make sandwich thins more bearable…was counting them as 2 starches when they are only one. NO MORE! Last Wed I changed this and had sandwich thin with correct portion of pretzel and have been doing them as one starch ever since, because that is more normal…and is the truth.
Back on the fro-yo train I faced three fear foods in one with this one: Arctic Zero with Frosted Mini Wheats and Diet Cocoa! AMAZING people. Freaking AMAZING! Honestly though…I like the “real” fro-yo better.
Continuing on in the week I again corrected something I was doing when I was counting these fiber tortillas I have as 2 starches when, again, they are one. ED likes to get me to make things easier by overcounting, but it’s just a lie. So my other two starches….KETTLE CORN! Yep…I faced it. I used to eat Smart Pop all the time, but then got scared of it. No more! This was awesome!
Come Sunday, I wasted no time in eating freedom foods once they were chosen on Sat. Come Sun, I went ahead and faced brown rice. Even though Sun was really bad and hard day and didn’t feel well. I faced it. It was okay…but I don’t know. Rice just isn’t something I like so much. Even with my favorite tuna on corn tortillas.
Luckily the next day the corn tortillas were paired with something delicious. Purple potatoes!!! Had some I needed to eat, but I never allow myself potatoes at lunch as a side because I do them every day at dinner (for medical reasons). But I did it! I had my potatoes twice. Purple potatoes with lunch and my baked potato at dinner. And it was awesome and freeing. Breaking ED rules…well…it rules!
And that night…with my SECOND POTATO I also faced cantaloupe (which wasn’t a fan of) and mahi-mahi (again not that big a fan but know I liked it at school so will try again). Woot Woot!
And then tonight, I faced my next freedom food parents selected….GRAHAM CRACKERS! ED really tried to get me to reduce the serving size. To do two graham squares instead of three. And at first I did. Had my PB and banana on cinnamon grahams…but then realized…just be facing the fear and ED still be winning. So at dinner added the third square to my peaches. It was nice..and scary..but don’t think become regular.
That’s it for now….thanks again Jenn for hosting.